🎀Glitter 'N' Butterflies🎀

  Trigger Warning: ED Talk People know I have an eating disorder. It hasn't exactly been kept a secret. My friends usually tend to not care or ignore it, my family thinks I'm doing it for attention, and my girlfriend doesn't always seem to understand why I can't just "eat for her". There's been people who've told me I don't look like I have an eating disorder. Because I'm either "not thin enough" or because I "eat all the time". I have two eating disorders. I have binge-eating disorder, and I also have anorexia nervosa. I won't go into every detail of my ED story, but I've been suffering with ED's since I was around 9 years old. My mom died and binging became a way to cope, and it became a daily occurrence when I turned 11. At 11 I moved to where I live now and me and my dad moved in with my stepmom and half-brother. At first the binges died down, it turned from 2k binges to just overeating. I ate when I wasn...

Trigger Warning: Talk of ED and self-harm I know it's a little bit past New Year's, but I haven't made a blog yet this year. So I wanted to talk about my goals for 2022.  And look back and reflect on 2021, which is what I'll do first. 2021 was a hard year for me, and I had thought the previous years were awful. I had spent the last few years hating myself, hating my life, just wishing I was dead. And I blamed it on the way my grandmother treated me. Which in a way, I still do. She was strict, but not in the caring way. She just wanted to control every aspect of my life. When she learned I had an eating disorder, she tried to control that too, making my eating disorder worse. Because though my eating disorder started as just a way to cope with bad feelings, it became more than that, especially in Arizona. It became a way to "control" something in my life, something my grandma couldn't no matter how hard she tried. Anytime I messed something up, she screamed...